The saying goes “Happy wife, happy life.” but shouldn’t you strive for both of you to be happy? Marriage is about giving it 100% Every. Single. Day. Divorce is 50/50. Some people think that getting married magically makes your life better and solves any problems you had beforehand, but that’s just simply not true. You have to invest in your relationship if you expect to get anything better out of it. I wanted to take the time to go over some simple things you can do to imporve your relationship with your partner.
1. Be best friends
Yes, I know that you probably already have one and by no means am I saying to cut people out of your life, but your husband/wife should always be your number one with everything in life. If not why are you with them in the first place? You can’t truly love someone unless you’re not best friends with. Your husband/wife should be the person you enjoy spending all of your time with.
2. Continue “dating” each other
Just because the purpose of dating is to be able to find someone to spend the rest of your life with doesn’t mean that you have to stop as soon as you find your person. A lot of the time when you hear that people are having trouble in the marriages it’s usually because one or both of you stopped doing things together because you’re “too busy” or “too tired”. You should always take the time for your partner to show them you still care. Make it a point to have a date night (with just the two of you) at the very least once a month.
3. Always kiss each other goodbye
The days can be long waiting to see each other after work or even just a five-minute trip to the store. My husband and I always make a point to kiss goodbye even if the other one is still passed out in bed. It’s a small gesture that takes up a lot of room in my heart.
4. Learn to forgive
You’re both human and you will both make mistakes. Its going to be a long and miserable life if you can’t learn to forgive one another. I’m not saying whatever happened shouldn’t be talked about and dealt with, but holding grudges is never the way to go.
5. Take some interest in each others hobbies or work
This is a great way to always have something to talk about or even a way to have ideas for great gifts on special occasions! When you decided to get married you chose to share your lives with each other. No, you don’t have to do everything together and you can definitely continue having your own thing that you enjoy doing alone, but you should try to share your experiences with your partner. Listen to what they have to say; especially if they seem pretty excited about it, it will mean a lot to them that you’re interested.
6. NEVER withhold sex as a form of punishment
A healthy sex life is one of the most important parts of a marriage in my opinion. Withholding it from each other is a toxic to your marriage, because it makes them feel abandoned or like they will never have a say in things due to the fear that they’ll be pushed away. Having sex is a way to be connected to your partner physically and emotionally, not to have a bargaining chip. When you start taking it from them it does serious damage to your spiritual connection.
7. Keep parts of your marriage between you and your partner
Neither of you need to go back and forth to your friends talking about everything that happens in your marriage. Venting is one thing, but talking behind each others back is another. Your friends don’t need to know about every fight y’all have because chances are it was something small and you will forgive them a lot faster than your friends will. And they definitely don’t need to know every detail about your sex life. It can create awkward tensions; Especially if they’re mutual friends!
8. Don’t give each other “roles”
This can be hard sometimes because it seems like society has already set these roles for our lives as man and wife, but try not to take them to heart. It’s not a “woman’s job” to cook, clean, and take care of the kids and it’s not a “man’s job” to go to work and pay for everything. Understand that you’re a team and it’s both of your responsibility to take care of each other, your home, and your family. When you set roles for each others lives you can get real disappointed when one of you falls short. Instead of getting mad, take your partner’s hand and say “I’ve noticed you’re struggling and I want to help.”
9. Don’t try to change them
You knew who they were when you got married and if you haven’t heard it before I’ll be first to tell you that people never change they just become more of who they already are. That’s not to say that you can’t learn from past mistakes and do better from then on, but that has to be their decision. Not something you try to force on them. Don’t expect someone to change their beliefs or lifestyle just to make you happy. If you try to make this happen on your own you’re just asking for disappointment.
And the oldest, but wisest piece of marriage advice in the book.
10. Never go to bed angry
Talk it out! Finish the fight! Then go to bed so you can get some rest and wake up better tomorrow. When you go to bed mad at each other it starts to build a wall between you where you feel like you don’t have to talk to your partner about the problems you’re having. When you go to bed angry chances are you’re going to wake up angry and no one needs that in their life. What’s more important? Winning the fight, or preserving your marriage?
Place God at the center of your marriage and pray for your husband/wife. Listen to and respect your partner. Understand that there will be bad days, but if you deal with them in a healthy way better days are ahead. Always do your best to understand your partner and come to them with any issues you may be having. You can’t expect them to be able to read your mind and fix your problems when you never mentioned anything to them in the first place. Most importantly LOVE each other and always be there for each other!
What are some marriage tip you have that keep your marriage going strong?